#6: NOT Like Everyone Else

I’ve begun to realize that some people or generally people:

  • Assume everyone is like you
  • I assume no one is like me (not because I’m special (though I used to be/believed) but that I’m terrible/no one’s as terrible as me)

If people are like, I’m not uber special but I’m not scum; I’m a unique multi-dimensional identity, like the way I try to conceptualize others.

I think NOT: isn’t everyone like this. But: no one is like me (with some exceptions of privileges and looks and conditions)

Disclaimer: these are my uneducated opinions. I am not an expert. I only have strong, persistent opinions, acquired from listening to others, living life, and reading. If anyone notices any errors or misuse of words and meaning, let me know and I will correct any post or information.

Written 8/16/17


#5: Pacifism v. Passivity / Copying

Pacifism doesn’t mean being passive; it doesn’t mean you submit. It’s still about resistance. Violence isn’t always resistance, but resistance should have an active element.

Since the year started, I’ve been trying to figure out how to act.

I tried to follow what others were doing.

I tried to copy others. Because what else is the world but copying? There’s the you at school, where you follow rules (sometimes leading to frustrated or unhappy results), do what’s expected, and there’s you at home, where you do what you want, act how you want. Additionally for me, there’s the impulse to be liked. And being liked means (and meant in college) being in-sync and agreeable to those around me. This stems from fear of being other and outcast

I tried to do what I could money-wise without having lots of money to spend. Then I stopped and thought: what would I do if I was me? And this is that.

Disclaimer: these are my uneducated opinions. I am not an expert. I only have strong, persistent opinions, acquired from listening to others, living life, and reading. If anyone notices any errors or misuse of words and meaning, let me know and I will correct any post or information.

Written 8/16/17 + 8/31/17

# 4: In Another’s Body

Sometimes I’m struck by people’s occasional inability to imagine themselves as not-themselves — in another body or with a different life. And while no one can know another’s person’s experiences, the act of thinking outside yourself….that isn’t normal?

I did that sometimes when I was a kid. Mostly derived, I believe, from physical differences between me and other people. But also, in general play. Being not-me (being a character, I suppose) was part of the fun of playing.

This idea can be extended to stories and situations of strangers. Like, I don’t know what’s going on with people but I try to trust them and give them the benefit of the doubt because I don’t know. How can I get super critical of people if I don’t even know what’s going on? Context is key, my friend.

How much I apply this principle to people I know personally and how I conceptualize the difference as me-imagining it rather than difference-not-me, are aspects I need to think on.

I feel like if people did this — fit themselves into imagined awareness different from their own and recognized that the stories of someone far exceed what someone can know in daily interaction with strangers — people would be less narrow-minded and bigoted. Cause if you look at all the crime and violent and deaths that have been mounting and thinking how would that feel, not as you, but the experience… How could you not see the humanity in people? (This question is directed at neo Nazi fascists, specifically.)

I’ve always had this impulse to slam logic arguments on neo-Nazi’s or set up questions in a way that it expresses the fallacy of their values.

Disclaimer: these are my uneducated opinions. I am not an expert. I only have strong, persistent opinions, acquired from listening to others, living life, and reading. If anyone notices any errors or misuse of words and meaning, let me know and I will correct any post or information.

Written 8/16/17 + 8/31/17


Donations for the Holiday

With the holidays having begun and with the state of world, it seemed like a good time to offer a gift of support to places and people that will offer protection and support of their own. (Or you could do something more directly if you like.)

Many people have already done fundraisers and charity drives (I’ve been the most aware of this with artists), and this is nothing of that caliber. I only thought, since the time of year has always been about giving, and many people (and the world and society) need as much giving/kindness/support as they can, I would add this little message:

Things seem very bleak, and I’ll admit that I’m not a very active participant in the world (sometimes I forget basic survival care, like eating and sleeping). But I’ve usually, despite my occasional views on myself or my writing, been a hopeful person. Hope, of course, isn’t going to change anything on its own.

But you can. I can. By just doing one little thing. By staying aware. By not forgetting that the times have gotten dangerous and that these issues have not just popped out of the ground; they have been around for awhile. We need to stay awake and do what we can, when we can.

Even if you can’t give hoards of money, spreading the word or donating a dollar when you can or having a monthly donation as part of your budget, if possible, is doing something.

Here a few suggestions:

*if anyone knows of better organizations, please let me know; I will edit them.

What to write?

11 December 2016:

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a lot of my thoughts and feelings down. It felt as if I was pushing myself to really think and consider things: how I felt, what I felt, my situation, who I was, what I believed.

I didn’t post any of it; I never post those kinds of reflections. I have a writing document, or a journaling word document. It’s where I can work through thoughts and confusion and realizations. Or at least it feels like I am. I don’t have to worry if the paragraphs fit together, or if it makes sense, or if it has a unified topic, or if it is writerly or witty or just good writing. I don’t have to worry about if my feelings sound good. I can just focus on what I mean or what I feel.

Almost two weeks ago, I posted a verbatim one about my purpose and why I write. I hadn’t written anything since then.

Today’s the seventh Anniversary of The Princess and the Frog. It’s the only Disney movie that directly influenced my writing. That winter soon after it premiered, me and my immediate family went to Walt Disney World and stayed at resort near Animal Kingdom. It was an awesome place. (It was connected to the safari/savanna so there was a waterhole area outside where you could view animals; we saw a giraffe drinking on the last day.*) But it was really out of the way.

More importantly there was a lot of PatF stuff being promoted. So, the African décor, animals, PatF, and the Christmas lights and spirit mashed up in my mind to deter and take over the second book of my Aladdin-lyric story.

That’s a really bad working name, but it’s the best I can think of to explain it.  Essentially, I wanted to take the cut lyrics from Disney’s Aladdin and see if I could create a compelling story out of it. Or more precisely, if I could take a lazy character and a spoiled character and see if I could make them compelling. By the end, it had begun to deviant from that idea and sink into a strange fog focused on the early stages of my Dreams. Then PatF came out. And I got two new characters that changed the plot.

Continue reading

Threads of life

Day 208

PULLING THE PATTERNS out from inside the drawer, she peers into the shifting, glowing reflections:

She is a scientific researcher. Hours in the outdoors studying the flora and fauna. The pursuit of science and the taste of crisp, hypothesis-proven results. The scrap and scent of animals, and the calm and technical methods of space and stars. Details. Watching. Writing. Speaking out. It is strung with conservation and evolution, preservation and revolution…

She is a scholar. She roots around in old archives, digging up words and stories and historical accounts to spin into research and wonder. These she shares with colleagues, piles of details and comparisons and finely combed sources. Giving. Teaching. Hardworking. Preserving. A life of studious, exciting exploration and academic conferences. It thrives on the thrill of ancient tales and pristine books and languages no longer spoken. She walks along colonnaded halls, plows through ancient archives, and descends into the tomb of libraries… She wallows in the creak of old leather bindings and the crinkle of old curling script and the musky scent of the past… 

She is a witch. Gently caring for others, she lives in a small cottage. There are flowers, roses for certainty, growing along the cozy walls. A small garden, perhaps badly tended, flourishes with bees and butterflies and an occasional hummingbird. A yard of wild growth for rabbits and a bird feeder for sparrows and wrens and robins. The scent of peppermint tea or hot chocolate wafts through a window screen, while threads hums to life, sewn into dresses for fairies (or other small things), and paint and paper and ink enchant empty space, stories and scenes brought to life (sometimes meticulous, sometimes childish). Shells from the sea crinkle in a watercolor sketchbook, stitched with details and notes on nature. She is free, peaceful, quiet, and concocts wishes for the welfare of herself and others.

Written: 2 May 2016

Words: 311 words

Inspired: wanting to imagine (and write out) as many of the lives I’ve imagined for myself. The results are…interesting. 


Day 201

FLOWERS SWAYED IN the sunshine. Focus on those, she told herself, not the festering frustration in the center of her chest. It boiled gently, a fast-spinning wheel weaving an even faster thread. Move quicker, it hissed, go, go, go. Up so early. Move, move, move to make up for lost time. Be quicker!

But the flowers only bobbed. The grass gleamed. And the cherry greeting of robins sang of peace and pleasure. Of basking in nature’s beauty. Happiness and joy and healthy living. 

Its message was at odds with her internal machine. Which path should she follow this morning?

Written: 22 April 2016

Words: 99

Inspired: my morning + Earth Day!